Confidence is not competition

By Kerryn Vaughan

18th March 2026

Confidence is far from needing to compete with others.

True confidence is internally focused and about knowing who you are and what matters to you. It's about steady presence and trusting your ability to navigate whatever comes your way even if you don’t know what’s fully required of the situation.

Competition, on the other hand, is externally focused. It measures worth by comparing, ranking, and outperforming others. It thrives on the idea that if someone else shines, you must dim. This is not confidence.

When you’re confident, someone else’s success doesn’t threaten you - it inspires you and you want to celebrate their wins with them. 

This was one of the incredibly valuable conversations we had at Heartprint Cambodia in November, during my Confidence CAP staff training. And wow, does this group know how to confidently lift each other up!

The next time you see somebody strut into a room, trying to prove how confident they are, don’t be fooled and don’t compete to be like them.

When you walk into a room, know there is no need for comparison or competition - you are enough just the way you are.

Kerryn Vaughan is the author of ‘Magnificent Kids!’ and ‘Get Off The Bench!’, co-founder of Girls With Hammers, and host of Get Off The Bench Podcast.

Kerryn is a leadership facilitator and the founder of Confident Leaders Program and The Confidence CAP, as well as an accredited DISC ADVANCED® consultant.

Vulnerability and Resistance

By Kerryn Vaughan

12th March 2026

Most people won’t know this about me, but I spent 8 years in the electronics industry. I know right? We make a lot of assumptions about people without really knowing!

That being said, I was repairing a circuit board this week and had a moment of clarity. A circuit board is like a team - each component (person) doing their bit to make things run smoothly and operate effectively.

Let’s focus on resistors. 

On a circuit board, a resistor's main role is to limit the flow of electrical current, protecting sensitive components, but if the force is too great, it overloads and stops working - sometimes melting into a smouldering mess and catching fire - burnout.

What about resistance in humans? Just like the circuit board, resistance exists to limit the flow of anything that might cause pain (to sensitive components). It makes sense. And overload leads to melting down - burnout.

To be very clear, you can't beat someone out of resistance. Many think you can, and many try - but it doesn’t work. You simply can't force a resistor.

Fortunately there is a way forward, and the best way to ease pain is to create safety. Safety comes from trust (and vice versa) and vulnerability is the key to opening that door. The door itself (trust), is transparency, reliability, and consistency. You have to be vulnerable to deliver these effectively and believably - hence they key.

People won't embrace change or whatever it is you're trying to activate or implement, unless they feel safe. They’ll continue to have resistance to it while they have the underlying pain of uncertainty and lack of safety. 

So, if you’re trying to force people out of resistance, all you're doing is causing more pain, and deepening the wound. You’re also pushing them closer to disengagement and meltdown by triggering a sense of mistrust, betrayal, manipulation, and many other things. And if you continue, you’ll become the circuit breaker, and you’ll lose the person’s trust forever.

Resistant people feel unsafe - create safety through vulnerability and trust - and get the circuit board working as it should with all components happily buzzing in collaboration.

Kerryn Vaughan is the author of ‘Magnificent Kids!’ and ‘Get Off The Bench!’, co-founder of Girls With Hammers, and host of Get Off The Bench Podcast.

Kerryn is a leadership facilitator and the founder of Confident Leaders Program and The Confidence CAP, as well as an accredited DISC ADVANCED® consultant.

Vulnerable strength

By Kerryn Vaughan

5th March 2026

Vulnerable strength might sound like the opposing ends of magnets, but together, the two simple words are a powerful combination.

Vulnerable strength stands there, openly raw and with solid presence, saying, “I’m here… and I’m hurting… and I’m still capable.”

For a long time, I misunderstood what strength actually was.

When my sister died, I convinced myself that being strong meant being the stoic one. I believed that if I held myself together tightly enough, and with no signs of grief, everyone else would feel safer. I thought that was love and I thought it was strength.

But it wasn’t strength at all, it was suppression dressed up as resilience.

What I’ve learned - through immense amounts of pain and gratitude - is that real strength is having the courage to say, “This is hard,” without dissolving into self-pity, and without expecting anyone to rescue you. It’s being open about the pain while still standing firmly in your presence. It’s being ok with not being ok.

Vulnerable strength doesn’t beg for, or imply the need for sympathy. It offers connection and reminds others they aren’t alone in their own battles, while providing the safety and opportunity to speak their truth too. Something they may not have felt they could do previously.

And here’s the part I didn’t expect: when you allow yourself to speak honestly about adversity, people don’t see you as weak. They trust you more and feel safer around you.

And if you’re a leader, this really matters.

Not because leaders need to stand on a pedestal and bare their souls, but if you can show what it looks like to navigate pain without shutting down, blaming others, or falling into a helpless mess, you give your team permission to also be human. That matters more than you might realise.

You create space where honesty is encouraged, and you show that being impacted by life doesn’t reduce your ability to be a great leader. You openly show that strength and vulnerability are natural companions.

Vulnerable strength is about being honest and grounded, while saying, “I’m working through something, but I’m here,” and that human honesty simultaneously allows others to be human too.

Kerryn Vaughan is the author of ‘Magnificent Kids!’ and ‘Get Off The Bench!’, co-founder of Girls With Hammers, and host of Get Off The Bench Podcast.

Kerryn is a leadership facilitator and the founder of Confident Leaders Program and The Confidence CAP, as well as an accredited DISC ADVANCED® consultant.

Vulnerable assertion

RAAF Roulettes: Photo credit - unknown

By Kerryn Vaughan

17th February 2026

Vulnerable Assertion isn’t making big waves yet, but maybe I’ll stat a trend because it absolutely should be.

Being vulnerable and being assertive are not mutually exclusive - they go hand in hand. And what better example than the Roulettes (pictured) - completely vulnerable, and totally reliant on assertive communication.

Assertive communication earns a shiny reputation for being fair, balanced, and win/win. In theory, brilliant. In practice, I hear plenty of people say others are “aggressive”, and nine times out of ten, once we unpack the actual conversation, the person was being assertive… it just didn’t land well. The delivery didn’t take the other person’s interpretation into account.

You can walk away thinking you used great communication skills - clear tone, fair request, reasonable outcome - but if the message hits the ground with a thud, the opportunity is gone. And so is the trust you were trying to build.

I’m a huge believer in naming the expectation or desired outcome upfront. It’s clean and clear, and clarity helps people feel safe.

Then comes the magic of vulnerability…

This is where you open the trust door and say things like:

• “I don’t have all the answers.”

• “I’m not entirely sure how we’ll get there.”

• “I’m not certain what support works best for you yet.”

• “Here’s the outcome we need, but I want you to reach it in a way that feels natural for you.”

That's when they get in the boat and offer to take a paddle.

It builds connection, ownership and trust - every human (especially leaders) needs to be able to build these things so nobody goes under.

Of course, some situations demand firm, non-negotiable assertion - especially when safety is on the line.

But most moments aren’t life-or-death. They’re opportunities to lean into vulnerable assertion and show what real, humanness looks like.

When you do, outcomes get met, ownership grows, people feel genuinely seen and valued, and relationships deepen.

That’s true win/win 🙌

If you’re a leader, this is definietly your friend!

Kerryn Vaughan is the author of ‘Magnificent Kids!’ and ‘Get Off The Bench!’, co-founder of Girls With Hammers, and host of Get Off The Bench Podcast.

Kerryn is a leadership facilitator and the founder of Confident Leaders Program and The Confidence CAP, as well as an accredited DISC ADVANCED® consultant.

Vulnerability in leadership and life

Near Milford Sound, NZ, genuinely and vulnerably embracing humility and awe 😊

By Kerryn Vaughan

9th February 2026

It’s been an entire year since my last blog. I needed some time off - some down time to reconsider what was important to me. I struggled with the sense of letting people down, and how that balanced with my own worth. I concluded I needed to take care of myself first, or there would be no support or inspiration for others. For now, I’m back, but if the future asks me to rest, I will - without the guilt.

While I’m leaning into vulnerability, this post is all about that. In fact, this will be the first in a mini series on vulnerability in the hope that 2026 brings a hell of a lot more of it because we so desperately need it.

Last year, I saw leaders experience too much force, agitation, struggle, overwhelm, frustration etc. The leaders who found relief, were those who took a leap of faith and wholeheartedly embraced vulnerability.

They decided to say they ‘don’t know’. They leaned into asking their team to help solve problems they couldn’t. They admitted when they just couldn’t do one more thing that day. They told people they cared for them and wanted to help from a better angle. They asked how they could support people better. They weren’t afraid of the responses because the alternative was becoming too much.

Surprisingly (not) was that people did not ‘eat them alive’. People did not think ‘they were weak’. People did not ‘take advantage of them’. And they were not perceived as ‘too soft to be a good leader’. 

All of the damaging narratives and imagined scenarios that often go through leaders minds preventing them from leaning into vulnerability, did not happen.

What did happen was transformative. Conversations improved. Relationships improved. Performance improved. Trust improved. Problem solving improved. Innovation improved. 

What decreased, was sick leave, conflict, avoidance, misunderstandings, and defensive retaliation - among many other things.

This isn’t just for leaders - it’s for every single one of us as we navigate relationships, families, expectations, society - and where we fit (real or perceived) within each of these.

It’s common for people think vulnerability is leaving yourself open to be harmed, but that couldn’t be further from the truth if embraced and delivered with authenticity and genuine care.

Vulnerability is humanness, we’re all messy, and none of us have all the answers.

This week, try just one tiny act of vulnerability. You might be surprised. If it doesn’t work, stick at it - it soon will.

Kerryn Vaughan is the author of ‘Magnificent Kids!’ and ‘Get Off The Bench!’, co-founder of Girls With Hammers, and host of Get Off The Bench Podcast.

Kerryn is a leadership facilitator and the founder of Confident Leaders Program and The Confidence CAP, as well as an accredited DISC ADVANCED® consultant.

Why we should make love at work

By Kerryn Vaughan

18th January 2024

I have just come back from a trip to Cambodia, where I was blessed to run an abridged version of my Confident Leaders Program with the charity, ‘Heartprint’. 

5 sessions of full-on immersion and dang it was SO hot over there!

The thing that struck me the most was how good this organisation was regarding psychological safety. They were sitting at a 3.5 out of 4 (the 0.5 meaning sometimes they challenged), so I suggested they push the boundaries and make it a 4.

Here are the 4 stages I'm talking about (as described in Timothy Clark's book 'The 4 Stages of Psychological Safety’) :

1 - Inclusion (I feel welcomed and accepted)

2 - Learner safety (I feel comfortable to ask questions and make mistakes to help me learn)

3 - Contributor safety (I feel safe to demonstrate my expertise and have freedom to work autonomously)

4 - Challenger safety (I feel safe to pitch new ideas, disagree, and challenge the status quo)

I proposed that reaching the full 4 was something they could work on over time, but it actually happened in the moment and over the following couple of days. Everybody started suggesting new ideas and challenging existing systems etc. All with zero fear and full confidence. They were truly surprised to learn that this is not the norm in most organisations.

I've been pondering this a lot and while I haven't yet come to a solid conclusion (and I may never), I'm leaning toward the dominant contributing factor being that they bring their hearts and love into the workplace. They genuinely deeply care for one another, and deliberately find ways to create more ‘love’ opportunities at work. 

Now I'm not saying that all of Cambodia is like that, it's not. 

BUT, Heartprint has put the time into growing a kind, compassionate, growth mindset culture, and the rewards are obvious and massive.

I truly believe that if we all intentionally bring more moments of kindness, warmth, compassion and love into our day and into our workplace, the personal and professional benefits will be astounding. Not to mention the positive impact on our health.

I hope you join me in creating a kinder world through teeny tiny daily moments.

Kerryn Vaughan is the author of ‘Magnificent Kids!’ and ‘Get Off The Bench!’, founder of One Planet Classrooms, co-founder of Girls With Hammers, and host of Get Off The Bench Podcast.

Kerryn is also a Leadership facilitator, as well as an accredited DISC ADVANCED® consultant, and a Certified WORKING GENIUS facilitator.

Kindness begins with you

By Kerryn Vaughan

2nd March 2023

Today is National Be Kind Day, and while I’ve been ‘head down, bum up’ most of the day, I have had constant fleeting thoughts of a few things that have transpired lately.

I’m a big proponent of kindness and give it freely and regularly, but I always get a bit tangled when I’m not perfect. Of course I know that none of us are perfect, but it always challenges me when I act in a contrary manner to what I espouse.

When we think of kindness we generally think of doing something nice for another, and the more random the better. But there’s one type of kindness that often gets pushed to the back - self kindness.

It’s as though we view self kindness as a selfish thing, and that we are only deserving of it after we have done enough good deeds to warrant it. Like filling up a bucket of good deeds, and once it’s full, we’re allowed to take some for ourselves.

When you really reflect on this perspective, it’s actually back to front. If we are kind to ourselves first then we will have more to give out.

So my challenge this week was aggressively ranting about somebody who has a long list of very selfish and sneaky behaviours that undermine and harm others. Behaviours that are solely focused on personal gain, at the detriment of the bigger picture and the greater good.

But more than throwing the venom at him personally, I was hissing at the defence of those he is hurting. Regardless, I felt like less of a person for doing this.

We have been told over and over, and Thumper lovingly reinforced it in the movie ‘Bambi’, “If you can’t say nothin’ nice, don’t say nothin’ at all”. But we are rarely told over and over to stand up for what is right and to speak our truth. I think the first narrative causes more harm than good, and causes apathy and suppression of good voices. I can’t abide by that.

So, is calling out despicable behaviour unkind, because you’re saying ‘not so nice’ things about that person? Or is it kindness, because you’re defending those who deserve to be defended?

I say the latter, but I may well be wrong. I’ll live with that. I’ve reached a point today where I’ve decided that beating myself up for speaking out is not kindness to me.

I will spend the rest of today, and hopefully longer, indulging in self kindness, because my intentions and care for the bigger picture are more important than whether or not I offended a small number of people unwilling to be honest about poor behaviour.

Have you been beating yourself up lately over something similar?

Is today the day you can declare that being kind to yourself comes first in order to be kind to the rest of the world?

On National Be Kind Day, please fill your cup first.

Kerryn xx

Kerryn Vaughan is the author of ‘Magnificent Kids!’ and ‘Get Off The Bench!’, founder of One Planet Classrooms, co-founder of Girls With Hammers, and host of Get Off The Bench Podcast.

Kerryn is also an accredited DISC ADVANCED® consultant, and a Certified WORKING GENIUS facilitator.

That’s goin’ straight to the pool room!

By Kerryn Vaughan

2nd April 2022

I’ve written before about success and how we most often associate the word success with money. But success comes in all shapes and sizes and is actually determined by what we as individuals value the most.

For me, that’s experiences that money can’t buy.

If you’re at all familiar with the 1997 iconic Australian movie ‘The Castle’, you’ll recall that whenever Darryl Kerrigan received something he considered to be pretty amazing or unique, like a German beer stein, he’d proudly say “That’s goin’ straight to the pool room!”.

And we all knew what he meant - this is so valuable it deserves pride of place.

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about some of the experiences I’ve been lucky enough to have, and this was triggered by Captain Australia.

Simon Harvey (aka Captain Australia) walked from Brisbane to Melbourne to raise awareness for kids with cancer, and specifically to raise funds for the Kids Cancer Project. But there were other important aspects to his walk. He had personally overcome stage 4 cancer of the neck and face, but not without a terrible struggle with depression caused by compounding health issues that made him feel completely broken.

So he also walked to heal a broken man, and succeeded. The third aspect was to leave a legacy for his kids just in case the cancer came back.

I sent Simon a message when he was at the NSW/VIC border and offered to shout him dinner and a room when he got to Sale. This was the first moment I thought “You just can’t buy these experiences!”. I then thought about the pool room. This was indeed a pool room moment.

As it turned out, somebody else ended up getting him a room and taking him out for dinner. I got dumped at the last minute, but I’m ok with that, because that gifted another person a pool room moment.

Not all was lost. I saw his Facebook live and noted he was in the town only 10 minutes from me and was about to head into Sale. I jumped in my car and caught him on the side of the road and grabbed him for a quick interview.

As we sat drenched in my car making a 15 minute video (that lasted an hour), it really hit home that we don’t get these moments by wishing and hoping. We have to take action.

By the way, Simon will be on the podcast soon so stay tuned!

Then I interviewed Dr John Demartini for my Get Off The Bench podcast. I have admired John’s work for over 15 years, and put him on a pedestal which, by the way, he tells people not to do. But here I was chatting with him like we were long time friends. When you are truly in conversation with somebody and the energy is sitting in love, there are no status levels or feelings of inferiority, just genuine connection. That is beautiful.

Tonight I’m reflecting on other experiences like:

• Being on a zoom with the Dalai Lama

• Helping youth kickstart climate change projects in 92 countries

• Meeting a real life gangster who was a prisoner in Alcatraz

• Sitting where royalty sat at the very first Olympics in Greece

• Singing at the Hilton Hawai’ian

• Sharing hot chips with Alan Sandow, the drummer from Sherbet

• Enjoying a deep and meaningful conversation with Art Alexakis, the singer from Everclear

• Swimming with Hawai’ian sea turtles

• Hanging with Suzie Quatro

• Meeting Wayne Dyer

• Lying in bed in Yosemite National Park listening to a bear trying to break into the cabin

• Seeing the Grand Canyon white with snow

• Being told by songwriter Jason Blume (who has written hits for Brittney Spears and Backstreet Boys) that he could listen to me sing the phone book and still love every minute of it

• Having my song ‘Broken’ used by a plethora of animal rights groups around the world

• Singing several times with the legendary Frankie J Holden

• Being told over and over that me just showing up has changed somebody’s life

• Connecting clean water to villages and schools in Uganda

• Waking up to the first snowfall of the season in Canada

These are just the handful of things I can remember right in this moment, but as I think further there will be hundreds of things, especially music career moments.

I suppose I could also include the not so good things like being kidnapped, shot at, having machine guns waved around my face, and somehow talking my way out of being mugged on several occasions, but I think I’ll stick to good things as pool room moments!!

So I’ve decided to create a ‘pool room moments’ journal, and to start adding to it every time something happens that money just can’t buy.

We are blessed daily with magical pool room moments, if only we choose to notice. 

How will you capture yours?

Kerryn Vaughan is the author of ‘Magnificent Kids!’ and ‘Get Off The Bench!’, founder of One Planet Classrooms, co-founder of Girls With Hammers, and host of Get Off The Bench Podcast.

Kerryn is also a DISC ADVANCED® accredited consultant.

Developing leadership though community connections

By Kerryn Vaughan

1st March 2022

This week I attended a special night for an esteemed leadership program very close to my heart.

As the 2021 cohort graduated, the 2022 cohort commenced. Average, everyday people who believe they can make a difference in their community and who are courageous enough to step up to the plate even though they’ve heard it can be a challenging year. That’s leadership right there, before they’ve even begun the program.

I sat perched forward in my chair, excited as each new participant was called to the front, none of them wanting to make a scene or power themselves to the front of the crowd. But they will change, and grow, and they will become vocal leaders. They will place themselves in positions to speak up even when they are shaking in their boots.

How do I know this? Because that’s what happens every year, and that is the incredible and invaluable power of a great leadership program.

It was also the night where last year’s participants bid farewell, but not before proudly presenting the community projects they completed.

• An incredible garden and landscaped area for survivors of family violence.

• An online platform for donors to give so people experiencing homelessness can obtain phone credit to stay connected to people and services.

• A coffee table book sharing the stories of those severely impacted by the recent bushfires.

• An online event to celebrate diversity in the community as well as raise awareness and provide strategies to engage and include those who might otherwise feel excluded or overlooked.

• A review of the accessibility of the Leadership Program, and how more people with disabilities could be included.

While my descriptions of these projects is only a brief overview, the complexity and level of work and commitment to achieve these projects deserves a lot more than my few words.

While I am bestowed the honour of helping the groups brainstorm project ideas and Get Off The Bench, I am only one of many. The entire year is jam-packed with incredible facilitators who bring everything they’ve got to make this a success. Not to mention the tireless commitment of the program director and his amazing wing woman.

Also, to know that hundreds of people are going to reap the benefits of these projects makes my heart sing like nothing I can describe.

Serving others brings so much joy, and escalates leadership skills in an instant.

Two years ago I had my Community Connect program ready to go but shelved it because of Covid. Was that the right decision? I’ll never know. But what I do know is that it’s back with full gusto and is available to any organisation who is ready to create and build community connections through projects, while simultaneously providing an opportunity for aspiring leaders to put their hand up and say ‘Yes, I want to make a difference’.

If you belong to an organisation that’s looking to step up and be a leader in this space, connect with me. 

It’s not a myth that valued staff bring value!

Do what you love, back yourself, and above all else - be kind!

Kerryn Vaughan is the author of ‘Magnificent Kids!’ and ‘Get Off The Bench!’, founder of One Planet Classrooms, co-founder of Girls With Hammers, and host of Get Off The Bench Podcast.

Kerryn is also a DISC ADVANCED® accredited consultant.

Hitting a Century!

By Kerryn Vaughan

18th February 2022

Well, I did it! I have actually released 100 shows on my podcast ‘Get Off The Bench’, and I’m really proud of myself.

It’s funny how we keep plodding along and chipping away at something and we have our head so buried in it that we don’t even notice when we’re nearing a milestone. That’s exactly what happened to me. 

I love the work I do so much, that the immersion is like being transported to another dimension where the hustle and grind of every day life doesn’t seem to be able to penetrate our bubble. And I’ve long pondered the whole immersion thing.

Many years ago I was asked how I just keep going, kind of like an energiser bunny, and often on very little sleep. To be honest, I used to wear that as a badge of honour!

Nowadays I’ve come to realise just how important sleep actually is, and that charging though life without it is asking for disaster - physically, mentally and emotionally. But some of us with go go go personalities take a little longer to learn these things!

But immersion has been the main ingredient, and the space it holds is incredible. It’s when you are so into something and energised by it that you don’t notice time passing. And then you have to go to bed!!

Recording podcast episodes is incredibly immersing. I feel so blessed to have the opportunity to be completely and wholeheartedly invested in a raw conversation about somebody’s story. And I don’t call it luck. It really is about designing the life you want.

So this week, as I realised on Tuesday that I would be at episode 100 on Friday, I had a bit of a ‘stuck’ moment as I pondered how that show might look. Then a friend suggested I get somebody to interview me. But who? Somebody who knows me well and can pull out all the juicy info, or somebody who barely knows me and who can ask questions from a place of genuine intrigue?

I’m going to be honest, I got a little overwhelmed wondering how I could achieve that in 24hrs, and eventually froze. By Wednesday night I still hadn’t made any headway, because I was avoiding it, but I knew I had to record something that night.

So I gathered questions I had received from listeners over time, and decided to interview myself. How cool is that?? And I went deep!

My point here is that we can fuddle fart around as much as we like, but ultimately we’re just putting off the inevitable. Further, there is always a way to achieve something, but sometimes we just have to look to the side or behind, rather than straight ahead.

So there were questions like:

How did you get to doing Get Off The Bench?

What else are you working on?

How do you keep putting it out there, not knowing who is listening, if anybody?

You seem extremely resilient - why?

All wonderful questions!

And then I cracked open a little box of cards I received in the mail earlier in the day, and randomly answered some of those. One of them made my hairs stand on end and metaphorically my mirror cracked!

What conversation do you need to have to set yourself free? - OUCH!!

Despite the ouch, I answered honestly. I need to have a conversation with myself about feeling good enough. And I’m not the only person who needs to have this conversation. I think the vast majority of us feel this way and I think that’s so sad.

We come into the world absolutely magnificent, but by the time we’ve racked up a few short years, we’re already questioning our worth. Life shouldn’t be like that. Imagine if we all lived in our full magnificence like we’re supposed to. Wow!

So this 100th episode is jam-packed with thoughts and reflections, and while it’s an everyday job to ascend and get thrown off that mountain of ‘good enough’, I’m still bloody proud of myself for resiliently continuing attempts to conquer it.

To you I say this… Please keep trying. Please get back up. Please share your magnificence with the world even if it’s still messy.

And if you want to immerse in a space where there’s honesty, vulnerability and love, listen to that episode here, and gift yourself an hour to feel the OK’ness of being exactly where you are right now.

Much love to you xx

Kerryn Vaughan is the author of ‘Magnificent Kids!’ and ‘Get Off The Bench!’, founder of One Planet Classrooms, co-founder of Girls With Hammers, and host of Get Off The Bench Podcast.

Kerryn is also a DISC ADVANCED® accredited consultant.

Are Tiki’s good luck?

By Kerryn Vaughan

2nd Feb 2022

I remember reading many yeas ago that tiki’s were good luck and so I believed it. But then I watched the Brady Bunch episode when they went to Hawai’i and one of the boys found a tiki and it brought endless bad luck to the family. So I dropped the idea of having an opinion on it.

Today I had to bid my 17 year old cat farewell as he passed over the rainbow bridge. His name was Tiki. Maybe today was bad luck for him, but I’m going to focus on the positive. He brought me 17 years of happiness and believe me, he also had a very blessed life. He certainly had 17 years of extreme luck!

When I arrived home from the vet I realised that the date is 2/2/22. Those who are into numerology will know that there’s incredible power in that number group. So maybe he’ll bring extra good luck from above.

For anybody wondering, he is going in the massive pot with his mother and sister who left us together 5 years ago, and that amazing pot is blessed with a beautiful rose called ‘Mother’s Love’.

But saying goodbye to Tiki hasn’t been the only hard thing over the past two days. Yesterday was the 1st February, reminding me that 19 years ago to the day, my younger sister also left us after a 5 year battle with cancer.

My dad has also been in hospital in the past week and they are unsure what was wrong with him, and he told me today that it was the sickest he has ever been in his life. He has not been in a good way.

And today my Mum got a call from a specialist giving her some bad news about her back, and if nothing can be done to relieve the problem she may soon become wheelchair bound.

So it’s fair to say I’ve had a pretty rough 48 hours trying to take in all this news and deal with an avalanche of emotions.

But, life is what it is, and living, illness, wellness and dying are all part of the cycle. And frankly, none of us are getting out of here alive!

Which brings me to the point of this article - life’s too short! So get the hell off that bench and do that thing you’ve been putting off for way too long. Hire the kombi or learn to play guitar. Whatever that thing is, do it!

Stop telling yourself that you’re not good enough, or smart enough, or young enough, or qualified enough, or that you don’t have enough money or enough time. 

Don’t wait for the kids to finish school or for the mortgage to be paid, or anything else. Just start! 

In last week’s blog I talked about the fact that you don’t have to drop everything. Just start with one tiny step.

We don’t know what’s around the corner, and while we should never dwell on that and pickle ourselves in pessimism, we have to be honest with ourselves and not hide under a rock believing we have forever to do that thing that is likely to bring a tonne of joy.

So find something that resembles a lucky charm, even if it is a tiki, figure out the first step and go for it. Life isn’t waiting for anybody to catch up.

Get on the wave that is your life and ride it hard! You’re worth it!

Kerryn Vaughan is the author of ‘Magnificent Kids!’ and ‘Get Off The Bench!’, founder of One Planet Classrooms, co-founder of Girls With Hammers, and host of Get Off The Bench Podcast.

Kerryn is also a DISC ADVANCED® accredited consultant.

When should you start?

By Kerryn Vaughan

27th January 2022

Well, there’s a short answer and a long answer.

The short answer is - now.

The long answer is - now, because life’s too short.

So as you can see, the right time to start is NOW.

I can’t tell you how many people I chat with or work with who ask the same question - ‘when should I start?’.

The problem is, most people wait for others to give them permission but that’s not how life works. You have to give yourself permission and you have to be prepared to do consistent work.

The other thing that holds people back is a fear that if they begin their project, goal, idea etc, then they have to give up everything else. Not true.

Don’t get me wrong, some people do give up their security and dive in head first and go hard. For them this works, but it’s not for everybody. For most, this isn’t the best option. And it’s never OK to compare yourself with the next person and say ‘I should be doing that’.

I wrote a good blog about comparisons last week!

But we shouldn’t give up either.

Too often we look at our long list of responsibilities - mortgage, car repayments, food, utilities, school costs, fuel - and take a giant defeated sigh. ‘How can I possibly create the dream I want when I have all this hanging over my head?’. Yep, I get it.

So I want to encourage you to do it the safe way. Start now but start small.

If you want to be a writer for a world class magazine but can’t throw yourself all in - start a blog and put up one article a week and build slowly from there.

If you want to start a book keeping business but can’t leave the job you have, find just one client.

If you want to start a coaching business, start with just one person.

I can’t stress enough the power of one.

If you look at these examples and still find excuses not to start, then maybe it’s not about the time or the money. Maybe it’s about fear and self-doubt. I work with a lot of people and these two things trump everything else. 

I’ve heard so many reasons why a person can’t start now, but once we unpack it, self-doubt and fear are right there under the surface clinging on like horrid leeches!

You can only beat self-doubt by taking action and proving to yourself that you CAN, and you can only beat fear the same way. Everything is about action, but you have to start.

Your steps can be so tiny that they barely make a dent, but momentum starts simply because these tiny steps actually exist.

So I’ll say it again - life’s too damn short! We only get one crack at it in this body, so go for it. 

Start small but start now.

In one year will you wish you did, or be glad you did?

Kerryn Vaughan is the author of ‘Magnificent Kids!’ and ‘Get Off The Bench!’, founder of One Planet Classrooms, co-founder of Girls With Hammers, and host of Get Off The Bench Podcast.

Kerryn is also a DISC ADVANCED® accredited consultant.

Are you comparing yourself to others?

By Kerryn Vaughan

20th January 2022

“A flower does not think of competing with the flower next to it. It just blooms”

I’m unsure of the original author of this quote, but it’s so true!

Without going down the whole rabbit hole of the flaws of the education system, the truth is it sets us up from such a young age to compete with others.

The whole system is about levels and scores.

While I have noticed recently that more and more parents (and teachers) are telling kids not to worry about their results as much as striving just to be happy, competing still does exist, particularly if you want to establish a professional career.

And I think it sucks!

I am going to pause right here and give a shout out to the incredible teachers out there who are working so hard with what they have to really have an impact and ignite authentic fires in kids souls. I take my hat off to you amazing humans, because it really is so much easier to just go with the flow even if you don’t agree - providing you can ignore your own moral compass. 

Thankfully these amazing teachers can’t ignore their moral compass, and sometimes it takes superhuman effort to keep your own spirit ignited when there is so much suppression of individuality around you.

These great teachers know that there are so many brilliant minds out there who think and learn in a different way to the outdated industrialised systems, that their brilliance is overlooked, and in most cases they have no choice but to conform to fit into a box that more often than not makes them unhappy.

And this is further perpetuated in a multitude of workplaces.

No doubt you’ve seen the above meme which has emerged as a visual for the Albert Einstein (not confirmed it was actually him) quote that says “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”.

I rest my case!

And we carry this scoring system well into our adult lives, constantly comparing, competing and measuring ourselves against others, most often with those who don’t even have similar qualities, strengths and talents as our own.

Why?

Because it has become so deeply entrenched in our psyche that either we don’t even know we’re doing it, and if we do know and don’t like that we are doing it, we can’t work out how to move beyond it.

But humour me for a moment, and ask yourself…

Is the doctor a better human than the hospital cleaner?

Is the high level executive any better than the receptionist?

Is the person who owns a mansion better than the homeless?

And the waitress who still smiles as she politely and patiently tolerates the rudeness of the uppity who think they are better than her. How can we possibly think she is less?

The truth is that nobody is better than the next person, and we are all born with magnificently unique gifts and talents, and no other person in the world possesses the exact same combination as us.

Surely that’s reason enough to stop the comparisons?

When we compare ourselves to others, we either feel terrible because we think we don’t measure up, or on the flip side, if we are believing ourselves to be better than the person we’re comparing ourselves to, then we are allowing ourselves to be exactly the type of person we are complaining about falling short to.

This is insanity!!!

Why would we want to make ourselves feel like crap by thinking somebody is better than us, and if we see ourselves as the better person, why do we feel so inadequate that we would want to belittle somebody else?

The solution?

Be the flower that blooms!

Stay in your own lane and focus on being the best version of you.

Forget the outdated system that taught us to compete, and be proud to stand strongly in the space that shines the stage light on your unique magnificence.

Somebody in the world needs you to shine. They need to see you being the beacon of light that will guide them through a rough patch.

Just be you, because everybody else is taken.

Kerryn Vaughan is the author of ‘Magnificent Kids!’ and ‘Get Off The Bench!’, founder of One Planet Classrooms, co-founder of Girls With Hammers, and host of Get Off The Bench Podcast.

Kerryn is also a DISC ADVANCED® accredited consultant.

The Success Conundrum

By Kerryn Vaughan

12th January 2022

What is success? 

This is a loaded question and I don’t think there is a perfect, or agreeable answer.

Some people think success is money. As the host of the Get Off The Bench podcast, I am often approached by ‘successful’ people who brag about making 6 figures and try to convince me that my audience would love to hear their formula, which is often a well disguised sales funnel designed to draw hopeful people into debt and never actually find their 6 figures. 

I get cranky with these people. Firstly, my listeners care more about inspiration, and second, a lot of these ‘6 figure’ people (not all), are making money by taking money!

Personally, I think success is when you’re happy and feel good about yourself. That’s enough, and nobody should be shamed for that.

I googled a few definitions of success and here’s what I found…

Cambridge dictionary - ‘the achieving of the results wanted or hoped for’

Collins dictionary - ‘the achievement of something that you have been trying to do’

Merriam-Webster dictionary - ‘the fact of getting, or achieving wealth, respect or fame’ and ‘the correct or desired result of an attempt’

So other than the bit about wealth, respect and fame (which isn’t helpful), they’re all basically saying that if you don’t achieve what you set out to do then you haven’t succeeded.

The Google definition from Oxford Languages agrees - ‘the accomplishment of a goal or purpose’

But what if we don’t achieve or accomplish the thing we’ve been trying to do?

The Google definition from Oxford Languages goes on to give an example of using success in a sentence. Here’s the sentence:

‘There is a thin line between success and failure’

Herein lies the next part of the conundrum. We have juxtaposed the word ‘success’ with the word ‘failure’, so every time we don’t reach our target, goal, aim, objective, or purpose, we believe we have failed.

What if success could mean that you gave it a go?

What if the thing you were trying to achieve was just to have a crack?

Every entrepreneur knows that you have to keep trying things over and over until you get the right formula. But good entrepreneurs don’t see themselves as failures. They see themselves as having succeeded in yet another learning opportunity.

Further, what if we could replace the word failure with feedback. Even better, we could completely remove the negative narrative that comes with the word failure. How many people give up way too soon, simply because they feel like a failure?

On that point, the word failure should never be assigned to a person, only to an action.

And the only people who can even claim to have had a failure anyway, are the ones who had the courage to give something a go. Doesn’t that make them successful?

Words are funny things, and because of the rigid definitions and the outdated and unhelpful perceptions we place on certain words, we can feel like crap about ourselves, when in fact, we should be feeling great about ourselves.

We need to take chances and give things a go. If we don’t achieve what we set out to do, that doesn’t mean we didn’t succeed. It means we’ve had the courage to put ourselves out there.

The next time you, or somebody you know, finds the courage to attempt something, give a cheer and a high five, and think (and say) “You bloody ripper!”.

Kerryn Vaughan is the author of ‘Magnificent Kids!’ and ‘Get Off The Bench!’, founder of One Planet Classrooms, co-founder of Girls With Hammers, and host of Get Off The Bench Podcast.

Kerryn is also a DISC ADVANCED® accredited consultant.