Vulnerability and Resistance
By Kerryn Vaughan
12th March 2026
Most people won’t know this about me, but I spent 8 years in the electronics industry. I know right? We make a lot of assumptions about people without really knowing!
That being said, I was repairing a circuit board this week and had a moment of clarity. A circuit board is like a team - each component (person) doing their bit to make things run smoothly and operate effectively.
Let’s focus on resistors.
On a circuit board, a resistor's main role is to limit the flow of electrical current, protecting sensitive components, but if the force is too great, it overloads and stops working - sometimes melting into a smouldering mess and catching fire - burnout.
What about resistance in humans? Just like the circuit board, resistance exists to limit the flow of anything that might cause pain (to sensitive components). It makes sense. And overload leads to melting down - burnout.
To be very clear, you can't beat someone out of resistance. Many think you can, and many try - but it doesn’t work. You simply can't force a resistor.
Fortunately there is a way forward, and the best way to ease pain is to create safety. Safety comes from trust (and vice versa) and vulnerability is the key to opening that door. The door itself (trust), is transparency, reliability, and consistency. You have to be vulnerable to deliver these effectively and believably - hence they key.
People won't embrace change or whatever it is you're trying to activate or implement, unless they feel safe. They’ll continue to have resistance to it while they have the underlying pain of uncertainty and lack of safety.
So, if you’re trying to force people out of resistance, all you're doing is causing more pain, and deepening the wound. You’re also pushing them closer to disengagement and meltdown by triggering a sense of mistrust, betrayal, manipulation, and many other things. And if you continue, you’ll become the circuit breaker, and you’ll lose the person’s trust forever.
Resistant people feel unsafe - create safety through vulnerability and trust - and get the circuit board working as it should with all components happily buzzing in collaboration.
Kerryn Vaughan is the author of ‘Magnificent Kids!’ and ‘Get Off The Bench!’, co-founder of Girls With Hammers, and host of Get Off The Bench Podcast.
Kerryn is a leadership facilitator and the founder of Confident Leaders Program and The Confidence CAP, as well as an accredited DISC ADVANCED® consultant.